A guy I went out to dinner with once asked me, "Do you have a dream?"
I just stared at him for a while, not knowing how to respond. Dreams...I forgotten about them. I mean I spent my entire life going to school just for the sake of going to school. I never once stopped to think about what I wanted in life. I just went with I'll get a job, get married, have kids, and, you know, the usual.
It's been so long that someone actually asked me about my dreams. I was the nerdy, straight-A student, so everyone expected that I wanted to go to college to become a doctor, lawyer, or engineer--the Asian approved careers. I heard so many people tell me what they think I should be, but no one ever asked me what I actually wanted.
When that guy suddenly asked me that question, I wanted to shout, "Yes! Yes! I really do have a dream!" But at the same time, I didn't want to sound stupid and naive. So I just told him I didn't have any dreams. I didn't want someone to crush it. Sometimes, even if they look far away, dreams are the only thing that keeps you alive and makes you feel like breathing again.
I guess because I've always been the shy and quiet girl who couldn't be heard, I have this really crazy and seemingly impossible dream---I've always wanted to become an actress or a singer. I find myself acting in front of the mirror when I'm by myself because it's fun. I enjoy singing a lot too. It makes me feel happy. For me, I've always found strength and inspiration from dramas and music, so I really respect what actors and singers do.
Right now I'm at that point in life where I can't decide if I should just go for it. Part of me says that I should while the other part says that I have to look at reality. I'm doubtful because I don't think I'm good or talented enough. But I know that if I don't do it, I'll regret it for the rest of my life because I didn't even try.
I don't know what to do yet. But it feels good to tell people what my dreams are. When I hear other people talk about their dreams, I think it's the most beautiful thing. I love seeing their smiles and how bright their eyes light up.
Do you have a dream that you never told anyone about? Let me know. I'll love to hear about it! Every dream is beautiful to me!
