Random Thoughts Tuesday: Living for Others

You know, when I was little, my personality was waaaay different from now. I used to be really talkative, bold, and fearless. I wasn't afraid to stand up for myself and my beliefs. However, as the years went by, I became more timid. I became afraid of what others might think of me. I was constantly trying to get everyone to like me, and I defined my worth by how others defined me. My opinions were worthless, but other people's opinions were precious. I did everything that people expected of me and never dared to veer away from their expectations. I was living for other people.

Choosing my major was a great example of just how bad I defined myself with other people's opinions. In high school, I didn't have a dream career. I thought that I could just pick any of those Asian-parent-approved careers and that would be my life. At college orientation, I felt like I was behind everyone else because my major was still undecided. I was worried that other people would think that I was a failure, so remembering that my mom told me that I could be an engineer, I decided on a whim that I was going to be in engineering. I never once thought whether or not I liked it. However, a few weeks later, some friends told me that I was a girl and engineering would not work out for me. That's when my mind started to waiver again~~maybe engineering wasn't my thing; I don't think I could make it as an engineer. So again without thinking about what I really wanted in life, I went with the all-so-popular psychology. And as for my second major, in school I was always told by teachers that I was good at math, and thus math was chosen as my other major.

Looking back, I've realized that I missed out on soooo many opportunities because I just lived for other people. I missed out on the opportunity to make real friends who loved me because I was me, and not that fake always-trying-to-please me. I missed out on the opportunity to go to college with a full ride, majoring something that I wanted. But the good thing is, it's not too late to change. Without the mistake of living for others, I wouldn't have come to the realization of just how important living life for yourself truly is. I'm a little lost in life right now, but I am no longer bound by other people's opinions or expectations. I can wander freely ^_^

So if you find yourself constantly trying to live for other people, look in the mirror and tell yourself that your opinions, beliefs, and dreams are not less important and that you're not defined by what other people think. Live life for yourself, because it's YOUR life. You may lose people along the way, but at least you know that the people who stay are the ones who really deserve your time and love. So go out there today and live life!!!